a shout out to grandma

For the last 6.5 years of my life I have been pastoring in Independence and have met a whole bunch of people during that time.  Sometimes as I'm heading into QuikTrip or somewhere else around town, I will bump into someone whom I haven't seen in months or even years.  The other night I had one of those encounters.  As I was driving down 24 highway at 9pm on a Sunday night in Independence, I saw someone walking down the road who looked a lot like a student that I had met several years back at the church.  I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and saw that it was the guy who I thought it was.  I asked the young man where he was headed and if he needed a ride.  He told me he was heading home and that a ride would be nice.  During our 10 minute drive and interaction, I learned that Bret was living with his grandma because his mom was in jail and his dad kicked him out of the house a few years back.  He told me that his grandma was a cafeteria worker at a Jr. high school and she was helping him get back on his feet.

After dropping Bret off, I pulled back out of his driveway to make my way back home and I started thinking, 'what would this community do without grandmas and grandpas who were there to intervene in their children and grandchildren's lives?'  I know that may sound like a random and/or trivial thought, but in the last 6.5 years I have heard countless stories just like Bret's: parents who have given up on their children, parents who have disappeared, parents who have kicked their children out of the house, parents in jail, parents who are addicts, etc.  In fact, in the last month alone, I have heard 3-4 scenarios similar to this one.

While I was blessed to have parents who were present and invested in my life, I am realizing that my experience is slowly becoming a rarity and a minority in many communities.  If you have or have had parents who were present in your lives, please be thankful for them.

So as I write this, I want to give a shout out to grandparents who have:
-taken your own children back into the house as adults because of hardships they have fallen upon.
-taken in your grandchildren because their parents are either not present in their lives or because parents have given up on their children.
-sacrificed your own fiances, homes, vehicles, and resources to support your grandchildren when their parents have not done so.
-taken on the role of parents in their grandchildren's lives.
-chosen to keep working in order to financially support the children and grandchildren who have entered your home.
-Put up with loud music you would never listen to or watched tv shows you would never watch because you now have a 16 year old living in your house again.
-Stayed up late or set a key outside to make sure your grandchild gets in safely at night.
-And other examples like these...

I think the main reason I was compelled to write this is because I see something very Christlike in the behaviors I listed above.  I am one who believes that Christ never gives up on any of his children and has a heart especially for those who have been dealt a less than favorable hand.  Great job grandma and grandpa for welcoming, loving, and caring as Christ has called you to do.

observations from an 11th grader

I had the opportunity to sit down with one of my high school students just the other day (over some Pizza Hut!).  It was not hard to see that something was on his mind.  He had just gotten back from a seven day Caribbean cruise to Jamaica, Cozumel, and Cosa' Maya.  Without much prodding, he began to throw out some questions that had swimming around in his mind.  As we grow and progress as followers of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are called to look at the world around us- our communities, our patterns, the way we live, etc, and hold them up alongside the words, teachings, and life of Christ.  I was ministered to by my younger brother in Chris the other day.

On his trip to Jamaica


"Jay, when we got to Jamaica, I was immediately shocked at the standard of living compared to that of Americans... I learned that lots of people in Jamaica will share homes with one another.  It is very common for grandparents and their children to live under the same roof and for people in a neighborhood to share everything.  Many people who were on the cruise were saying how they felt bad for the people but I noticed something special about them: everyone seemed like they were family with everyone else.  It is not that way back in America.  We all have our own separate houses, our own separate lawn mowers, our own separate cars... It is like be build our homes to keep other people out of them... There seemed to be something that was special about the way they lived."


On his family


"I'm beginning to wonder if I really believe in love.  My mom and dad were married for 30 years and got divorced.  What if the emotions I have for my wife begin to fall away after 20+ years or so?... Or, what if her love for me begins to do this same thing?  How can a marriage survive if it is only based on the emotions we feel and don't feel?"

The unexamined life


"I get frustrated with other people my age.  They don't question or seem to care about anything.  Everyone my age seems to just go through life believing and excepting everything that they are taught.  Doesn't anyone care about the deeper issues and meaning of life?  Are we here just to make money?  To someday have a big house? Isn't there more?  If there is more, why does it seem like everyone is o.k. with not pursuing more?"

-----

Isn't it funny how God  can teach us through people and in ways we least expect it?  Thank you brother for sharing your heart and your desire to strive after Christ in your life.

my conversion story

About six years ago, before Rachel and I were married, I thought I would be a good fiance' and surprise Rachel by bringing her a coffee at her work.  After purchasing the drink (it type of drink changed over the years), I would always have a small sip during the short drive from the coffee shop to Rachel's work.  Each time I would have a sip, I would think to myself, "how in the world to people actually enjoy this overpriced nastiness?"  Yet, each time I ordered a drink for her I would STILL have a sip thinking that just maybe this is the time I would find the drink remotely good.

Fast forward about 75 to 100 coffee drop-offs and about six years and something happened.  I had just bought Rachel an Iced-Mocha from the Filling Station and was on my way to drop it off.  During the 3-4 minute drive to Rachel's work I found myself drinking about 80% of the drink and leaving nothing more than a few sips left for my wife.  Rachel was not impressed.  On my next visit to the Filling Station uttered words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.

(Barista dude) So, another iced mocha, no fat no whip for the wife?
(Me) Yes........ But...... Could you actually make two of those?

I am not sure if I could really be considered an all out coffee drinker.  I order one of those things a week at most... and, at this point, an iced mocha is the only coffee drink I like.

the greatest obstacle to following Jesus

I recently had the opportunity to attend a great conference called 'Sentralized' in Olathe, KS a few weeks back that focused what it looks like for the Church to be a missional people. There were several speakers at the conference that I learned a great deal from.  One of the keynote speakers, Michael Frost, challenged people to 'listen to the heartbeat of your city' in order to find out how to be the hands and feet of Christ to them.  He went on to say that we must really know the inhabitants of our community in order to effectively minister to them and we must listen to their cries.

Here is my issue.  I understand what Michael Frost was getting at.  We must have listening ears and hearts in order to properly and effectively do the work of the Kingdom in our communities.  You don't start an 'Obesity Recovery Club' in a village that is starving nor do you offer English speaking classes for Japanese people in a town that is 70% Caucasian and 30% Spanish.  Listening with a prayerful heart is essential.

But what if the greatest desires, wants, and 'needs' of my community is a flat-screen to replace their 'old tv' from 2005?  What if what people desire most is a better car than the one they already have now?  A job that pays better so they can afford to go out to eat more and to support an excessive lifestyle?  Someone to repave their driveway so it looks as good as they neighbors new driveway across the street?

I hope my point is coming across.  What does ministry look like to a community and a people whose greatest desire to get more and have more than what they already have?  What does ministry look like to those who have been fully baptized into a lifestyle of consumption, comfort, and getting everything we want?


Before I go on, I thank God that I was not struck dead as I typed those last words.  I see the signs of consumerism in my own heart on a daily basis and I must bring that before the Lord in repentance regularly.

Alan Hirsch makes a great point in his book 'The Forgotten Ways' by saying the greatest obstacle in the Western Church when it comes to following Jesus is not Islam, Eastern Religions, New Age Spirituality, or whatnot.  Instead, the greatest obstacle is consumerism: the belief and desire that life is all about doing me and getting mine.  Consumerism preaches instant gratification and immediate results whereas the way of Jesus is found in pouring one's life out in servant love to one's brother and sister.  It is in the daily surrendering of one's own selfishness and asking God to renew our hearts to look more like that of our Lords.  It is the complete opposite of the consumer mindset.  The text that continually comes to mind is the descent of our Lord spoken of in Philippians 2.  We serve one who being in the very nature God made himself nothing (2:5-11).

So, what does ministry look like to those who have become entrapped in the ideology of consumerism?  

'when I became a christian'

I heard this a while back and just hunted it down.  Written by Adrian Plass

When I became a Christian I said, Lord, now fill me in,
Tell me what I’ll suffer in this world of shame and sin.
He said, your body may be killed, and left to rot and stink,
Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - I think.
I think Amen, Amen I think, I think I say Amen,
I’m not completely sure, can you just run through that again?
You say my body may be killed and left to rot and stink,
Well, yes, that sounds terrific, Lord, I say Amen - I think.

But, Lord, there must be other ways to follow you, I said,
I really would prefer to end up dying in my bed.
Well, yes, he said, you could put up with the sneers and scorn and spit,
Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - a bit.
A bit Amen, Amen a bit, a bit I say Amen,
I’m not entirely sure, can we just run through that again?

You say I could put up with sneers and also scorn and spit,
Well, yes, I’ve made my mind up, and I say, Amen - a bit.

Well I sat back and thought a while, then tried a different ploy,
Now, Lord, I said, the Good book says that Christians live in joy.
That’s true he said, you need the joy to bear the pain and sorrow,
So do you want to follow me, I said, Amen - tomorrow.
Tomorrow, Lord, I’ll say it then, that’s when I’ll say Amen,
I need to get it clear, can I just run through that again?
You say that I will need the joy, to bear the pain and sorrow,
Well, yes, I think I’ve got it straight, I’ll say Amen - tomorrow.

He said, Look, I’m not asking you to spend an hour with me
A quick salvation sandwich and a cup of sanctity,
The cost is you, not half of you, but every single bit,
Now tell me, will you follow me? I said Amen - I quit.
I’m very sorry Lord I said, I’d like to follow you,
But I don’t think religion is a manly thing to do.
He said forget religion then, and think about my Son,
And tell me if you’re man enough to do what he has done.

Are you man enough to see the need, and man enough to go,
Man enough to care for those whom no one wants to know,
Man enough to say the thing that people hate to hear,
To battle through Gethsemane in loneliness and fear.
And listen! Are you man enough to stand it at the end,
The moment of betrayal by the kisses of a friend,
Are you man enough to hold your tongue, and man enough to cry?
When nails break your body-are you man enough to die?
Man enough to take the pain, and wear it like a crown,
Man enough to love the world and turn it upside down,
Are you man enough to follow me, I ask you once again?
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said Amen.
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen; Amen, Amen, Amen,
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said, Amen.

the 'Jesus-Juke'

So what exactly is a 'Jesus-juke?'  Jon Acuff invented the phrase and has written about it here.  The word 'juke' is often referred to in football or another sport where a player is running/skating/moving in one direction and then all of the sudden they completely change directions and head somewhere else.  If you are a running back or receiver in football, being able to 'juke' people is very important.

The Jesus-juke is the ability to incorporate Jesus and Christianity into any topic and it generally communicates shame.  Also, the Jesus-juke is very good at producing awkward moments along with strange endings to previously good conversations.  Still not sure what the Jesus-juke is?  Allow me to give you a few examples... Some of them are made up, some of them are based on real life examples.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 1

(Mike) I can't wait for Saturday!  We are going to get to the stadium like six hours before the game.  I'm bringing my grill to cook up some burgers, we can play washers, and then as soon as the gates open, we can head on in. It is gonna be awesome!

(Todd) Yeah... But I was just thinking... What if we spent those six hours that we were going to tailgate and watch the game by going down to the homeless shelter and serving food?  When is the last time we got this excited about spending six hours in prayer? 

-Poor Mike, he never saw it coming.  He just got completely juked out of his mind by Todd.  My guess is that Mike's neck hurt for a few weeks after this juke.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 2

(Kate) I know, I haven't talked to you in awhile.  So, been' reading any good books lately?

(Lindsey)  Heck yes I have!  I am reading the 'Hunger Games' series which I am LOVING!  I have already ordered that new Sparks book, I forget the name... and my boyfriend was telling me to check out that baseball book that was made into a movie.  You know, the Brad Pitt one?  How about you, anything good you have been checking out?

(Kate) Yeah, I've been reading the Bible.

(Lindsey) Oh yeah? Nice.  Anything else?

(Kate) Nope, I just read the Bible.

-While this juke is a little more subtle than the first scenario, you can be sure that Lindsey just got completely juked.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 3

(Micah) I'm just really excited about what we have been able to do with our small group at church.  We have started tutoring some kids in the area to help them with their school work.  We have also organized this small flag football thing on Tuesdays to help encourage exercise and teach the kids about getting away from the television.  We are hoping by next month to get some computers so we can finally start using this literacy software we had donated to us.  We are really optimistic that these students can start performing better at school.

(Caleb) Sounds fun, are you doing any Christian things with the students?

(Micah) What do you mean?

(Caleb) You know, like more Jesus centered things.  Are you doing stuff that Jesus would do with them like study the Bible and start worship services with the kids?

(Micah) No, we haven't done anything like that yet.  We are simply trying to love and invest into the lives of these students... I think Jesus would like what we are doing.

(Caleb) *forced smile that communicates his disappointment that Micah is not doing REAL ministry*

-Just when Micah thought he could share his joy with Caleb, Caleb is quick to let him know that teaching the students to read, encouraging physical activity, and tutoring are smaller secondary activities compared to the true work of Jesus... Complete Jukage.  

So, got any good examples of the Jesus juke?

40 things before 40

I read of another blogger who created a '40 things before 40' list and thought it was a great idea!  With that said, here is mine.

1.      Become a father.

2.      Adopt a child(ren).

3.      Become an amazing model of a father, husband, and follower of Jesus for my child(ren).

4.      Maintain a healthy weight (175-185 lbs).

5.      Continue to make my wife feel loved and adored.

6.      Continue my success in not biting my fingernails.

7.      Become better at disc golf by having shot at least even or below at most courses.

8.      Pay off my student loans.

9.      Feel a sense of satisfaction that I am serving God faithfully in my vocation... Regardless of what that looks like.

10.  Become a better cook.

11.  To do something incredibly special for Rachel that she won’t be expecting (I’m not sure what this is, but to figure it out and do it).

12.  Continue to play on some sort of competitive softball team.

13.  Start an ‘after school disc golf club’ for students.

14.  Find new ways to minister to the less educated and lower class of my community.

15.  Go on another 7 day cruise to the Caribbean or somewhere else with my wife/family.

16.  Be incredibly involved in my children’s development by reading to and with them, helping with homework, etc.

17.  Become better at using my time in purposeful ways, waste less of it.

18.  Visit the Royals spring training facility in Surprise, AZ during in mid-February/March to watch them train. (I've already been to the Red Sox several times)

19.  Find ways to live on less money and ‘stuff.’

20.  Continue to write napkin notes to Rachel everyday that I pack her lunch.

21.  Be very intentional about planning date nights with Rachel.

22.  Take a hot-air balloon ride (this doesn’t have to be before 40, but at some point in my life).

23.  To become an ‘all round’ amazing father.

24.  Find a way to live closer to my family.

25.  Complete an MS Bike Ride of 60+ miles or more.

26.  Find a way to help serve and minister to those who go without daily necessities like food, water, medicine, etc.

27.  See U2 and/or Coldplay in concert.

28.  To find unique and fun ways to celebrate milestones in my family's lives (and to make sure we have photos/videos of those milestones).

29.  To help be a father figure to a few people around me who don’t have a father.

30.  To become angrier about things worth being angry over and less angry about the things that has more to do with my pride and ego.

31.  To visit three more major league baseball parks that I have not been to.

32.  To get a major league baseball for my child (from a game, of course).

33.  To teach my child how to disc golf and to go disc golfing regularly.

34.  Learn to do more ‘manly things’ like install dry wall, plumbing, simple construction and auto repair, etc.

35.  Be a chaperone for one of my child’s field trips at school.

36.  Own a Golden Retriever (and possibly name the dog 'Clancy')

37.  To not judge people as much as I do now.

38.  To help Rachel create her own ’40 things before 40’ list.

39.  Visit a continent other than North America.

40.  Throw out the first pitch to a major league baseball game.

I am sure that this list will change and evolve during the next 10 years, but it is a good start!  How about you?  What are some goals you have?