I remember a professor at Eastern Nazarene telling the graduating 'ministry majors' that, statistically, 50% of us would no longer be serving in a pastoral ministry setting beyond five years out of school. He believed that history had proven his statement to be a relatively safe bet. I have heard and read other statistics that claim that the average stay of a Sr. pastor is around 3.5 years while youth pastors average closer to 2 years. What is scary about a statistic like that is that I feel like I am just recently becoming rooted in the Fort Osage/Independence community and I have been here for 6 years. And while I am still relatively young and growing as a minister, there are a few things that I have learned over these 6 years and I thought I would share them :-)1. Rarely does the apple fall far from the tree. While there are many books, studies, and people that talk about the increasing influence that friends and the media have over the shaping of student's lives, I would strongly argue that parenting still reigns (by far) as the most influential contributer in the shaping and molding of a students development and life. And while my last name is not Dobson, unstable and inconsistent parenting produces students who develop similar traits in their own life. It is very rare to look at a student and to be surprised who their parent(s) are. I am a firm believer that the greatest gift a mother/father can give their child is to model an uncompromising love and commitment towards their spouse along with intentional and involved parenting.
2. Empower others to do the work of the church. I am still learning the importance of this. When I started at Fort, I remember I would take it personally if a student gravitated to another adult sponsor and could care less about getting to know me. Now I celebrate it. How silly it is of me to think that every student would connect to my personality, interests, and background. It is essential to empower a team around us to engage in God's work. God equips all people with unique gifts and it is the church's responsibility to encourage and empower others to utilize their gifts.
3. They won't remember much of what you said. I am sure this last one is on one of those corny inspirational picture frames with the silhouette of the person climbing a mountain with the sun in the background... But people will only remember a handful of lessons/sermons/discussions. Instead, they are much more likely to remember the 'heartbeat' of their teacher. Again, not so much the individual messages, but the 'over the course of several years' heartbeat of what was taught. There have been many times where I have thought to myself: "I wish I emphasized this more over the last several years," or, "It would be nice to start all over with what I know now." And while it would be nice to start as a 23 or 25 year old with 50 years of wisdom and experience, it is simply not a possibility. What I do hope is that over the course of 6 years is that the students have come to know and see my heart and the heart of the youth staff. I hope that we have demonstrated to them what it looks like to strive to love God and love others.
This list is somewhat random and I am sure if I thought about it some more, I could add to it. How about you? What are some things that you have learned that you would like to share?
You were brand-new when I was in the youth group, and it's funny, because I am now the age you were when you started. :) It's interesting to look back and match what you've said here with what I remember.
ReplyDeleteRegarding #3, I remember hearing someone give me an illustration once that helped me with this. They described a radio show in which the hosts were discussing how well sermons are retained by members of the congregation, and one caller, an atheist who had left the church, said, "I've probably heard thousands of sermons in my lifetime, one every Sunday since I was a kid, and I couldn't give you a paraphrase of the content of a single one." Another caller said in response, "I've probably eaten thousands of dinners that my wife has cooked, and you know, I probably couldn't tell you exactly what was in each one. But I know they fed me when I needed it." I just thought that was really interesting with regard to ministry. As a former student of yours, I do remember some specific things you said, but more than that, I know that your messages fed me when I needed it, and helped to develop my spirituality into what it ultimately is today.
Also, a friendly warning regarding #1: I would be careful with this because for some students, ending up like their parents is a hopeless and depressing prospect. I think that, taking into account the observation you've described, it's important to encourage kids who may come from broken family situations that they *can* break out of any harmful patterns their family has set up for them. They are not chained to their parents' mistakes. :) You rock, Jay. Keep up the good work.