youth ministry and the family

I recently came across a documentary/book 'Already Gone'  featuring Ken Ham (answers in Genesis).  The book examined the mass exodus of many young adults from the church all across America and the reasoning behind it. Their primary conclusion is that youth ministries are failing to effectively teach and disciple students.  According to Ham and others featured in the documentary, youth ministries have become so focused on entertaining students that they have gotten away from genuine spiritual formation.

While I believe that there are points of truth to Ham's observation, I believe that the documentary is pointing the finger in the wrong direction.  As one who has been a youth pastor at the same church for 6.5 years, I have noticed a trend among the students who 'stick around' after graduating from the youth ministry and those who don't... In fact, the results are pretty much undeniable.  While there is a part of me that would love to believe that the youth ministry is the primary agent that shapes and forms the students who come through the door, it is the family that students come from that seem to have the greatest influence on whether a student 'sticks around' or leaves the church following high school.

It is extremely rare (in fact, I am struggling to think of more than one or two examples from my church) to find a student who sticks with the church following high school who has absolutely no support at home.  On the other side of the coin, as I look at all the students who continue to seek the Lord while being connected to a local church body and each one of them comes from a family with a mother and a father who I know are greatly invested in their child's life and rooted in their own local church.

Again, the ego inside of me wishes that it was my preaching, my ability to teach, the events that I plan, etc, that had more to do with the ultimate decision a student makes, but the reality is that parents and family have a far greater influence on the spiritual formation and shaping of their child than the youth ministry ever will.  This does not serve as an excuse to reduce the importance of having an effective and quality youth ministry, however, it is important to recognize that the 'end all solution' to raising a child is not simply making sure they go to the right school or that they are a part of the best youth ministry.  Instead, it begins at the home.  May we all recognize (especially those who are parents) that God has entrusted us with one of the greatest responsibilities that the world has ever known: raising a child in the faith.

wednesday night

Our youth service finished up about 10 minutes ago and I am still sitting here in the room where we all gather together every Wednesday night.  This is one of those nights where all the students have left and I find myself wondering, 'Am I nothing more than a boxer trying to beat up the air?'  There are times when I think that pastoral ministry has to be one of the most humbling jobs out there... And after thinking about it for a little bit, I think the reason is because pastoral ministry cannot be reduced to a simple formula of A+B=C when it comes to seeking results.  There are times where you pour yourself into your job and your calling and sense little, if anything, to show for it.  It is times like these that I think the best thing to do is to take a step back, look with a broad lens, and unwind for the evening.  After 6 years of ministry, I have learned that nights/times like these come with the territory.

emotionalism and youth ministry

This entry was written as a response to Paul Sheneman's article at Barefoot Ministries

There are some youth ministries (and churches) out there who believe that the level of emotion that one experiences in their worship, prayer times, testimonies, etc, is an accurate gauge of one’s discipleship and growth as a believer.  The equation is pretty simple: the greater/deeper emotional response = the greater/deeper encounter with Christ.  And while emotion should definitely not be suppressed or avoided, we must be careful not to blindly adopt this equation of ‘emotion = discipleship.’ 

I speak as one who was quite susceptible to emotionalism as a teenager in the youth ministry I was a part of growing up.  Discipleship and spiritual maturity was all about who generated the greatest emotional response to a sermon, music set, at a retreat, an alter call, and so on.  One particular night I remember my youth pastor challenging us during a time of corporate confession (around a bonfire of course) to "not hold back and be real before Jesus."  As students began to share, I was well aware of my sin and didn't want to leave that night still 'hiding my sins from Jesus.' So, as a 17 year old teenager, I confessed everything in front of the group... Everything I could possibly think of.  The mood had definitely been set by my youth leader and he later commended me for how open and honest I was.  While I believed I was being obedient to God at the time by airing out all of my garbage, I look back at the whole experience and cringe at how honest I was before them...  Not because confession is wrong but because of the young ears who heard all of those confessions.  I lacked the discernment that 'confessing everything' might not have been the best thing to do.

Fast forward several years and I find myself as a youth minister.  My first year at the church, we attended 'Acquire the Fire' because, as one student informed me, "that is what our youth group did every year before you became... It’s the best event that we go on."  With the help of smoke machines, loud bands, and youth speakers who can tell gripping stories filled with well-placed tears and effective pauses, ATF has mastered the skill of evoking an emotional response from teenagers... And just like all highs, it is, and was, just a matter of time until the crash.  How can we expect anything else?  How are the teens supposed to get as excited back at their local church when our ‘worship band’ consists of just Bob… a balding middle-aged man who is still learning to play guitar?  All that to say: I no longer attend ATF.  Every once in awhile a parent or student will come up to me and ask why we don't go to ATF anymore.  While my response varies depending on who is the one asking me, my most common response goes something like this, "Because discipleship is a marathon... It is a daily decision and a daily directing of our paths toward Christ.  It is not about getting emotionally hyped up for 24 hours and trying to ride it out for as long as possible… only having to try and duplicate the experience later… We don’t go to Acquire the Fire because I don’t want to teach our teens that their ‘level of emotion’ determines the truth of the gospel and the necessity to pursue a deeper walk with Christ, even when we don’t feel like it… Something along those lines.

Up until just a year or so ago, I experienced quite a bit of guilt and shame when I would compare the current student ministry I find myself in with that of the one I was a part of growing up in my teenage years.  I remember the emotion filled testimonies... I remember worshiping with my fellow teenage peers... I remember some great retreats that we went on together.  And quite honestly, I don't see that as much with the youth ministry that I am currently leading.  At times I wonder if I am in the wrong.  I wonder if I have become so cautious about not being manipulative that I have actually robbed them of something deeper.  However, what I have begun to see is something that has less highs and lows and something that appears to be more true and lasting.  

My conclusion is a very predictable one.  Emotions are some of the very fabrics that make us human.  As youth pastors/leaders, we must seek the healthy balance of not suppressing and avoiding a Christian faith that is void of emotions, which would be unhealthy and lacking.  Also,  we must make sure that our chief aim is not to simply seek out an 'emotional response' from our students because that has little to do with the gospel and more to do with adolescent development.  


May we all seek to honestly and faithfully preach, teach, and present the gospel in a manner that is accessible and understandable to our students.