meeting joakim

So I had a meeting in Lanexa, KS this morning from 9am to 11:30ish.  As I hopped back on I-70 heading back towards Independence, I thought I would take a brief detour down to the stadiums to see if the Royals were taking batting practice... if the gates were open for some reason... if they were looking for a new right fielder, you know, the usual.  When it comes to trying to get a baseball at a Royals game, my wife says I mysteriously transform into a 10 year old boy again.  I am turning 30 in September.

So as I park my car in the massive Kauffman parking lot and start walking towards the gate, a taxi pulls up and a guy who looked like Joakim Soria stepped out (their closer... he's a stud pitcher).  In an act of pure genius, I yell out his first name with no real plan.

Joakim "Hola amigo."

Me "Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy watching you pitch and that I won a signed jersey by you a couple years ago."  (that is actually not true, no one claimed the jersey and I begged Royals customer service for 30 minutes... I think they felt bad for me because I was a 28 year old man and they thought I was weird.)

Joakim: "Good for you, I hope you like it."

Me: "Yes I do.  I have it in a frame hanging in my basement  (Again, that is not true.  My wife bought a frame for the jersey but the jersey is too thick/frame is too thin... So it is nicely packed away)  Hey Joakim, if you guys are ever looking for another pitcher, I would be more than happy to join the Royals.

Joakim: "Can you bring it?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Joakim: "Can you bring it?  Ya know, would you strike people out?"

Me: "Well, in college I could throw about 85mph (not a lie), but I would probably be more in the 60-65mph range now..."

Joakim: "Ouch, my buddies daughter can throw that hard and I don't think she is 13 yet."

And with that, Joakim walked into the player's entrance and I walked back to my car a changed man.  My once semi-'braggable' baseball skills had just been spat upon by one of the American League's best closing pitchers.

And if you believe a word of that story, check the date.