I recently came across a documentary/book 'Already Gone' featuring Ken Ham (answers in Genesis). The book examined the mass exodus of many young adults from the church all across America and the reasoning behind it. Their primary conclusion is that youth ministries are failing to effectively teach and disciple students. According to Ham and others featured in the documentary, youth ministries have become so focused on entertaining students that they have gotten away from genuine spiritual formation.While I believe that there are points of truth to Ham's observation, I believe that the documentary is pointing the finger in the wrong direction. As one who has been a youth pastor at the same church for 6.5 years, I have noticed a trend among the students who 'stick around' after graduating from the youth ministry and those who don't... In fact, the results are pretty much undeniable. While there is a part of me that would love to believe that the youth ministry is the primary agent that shapes and forms the students who come through the door, it is the family that students come from that seem to have the greatest influence on whether a student 'sticks around' or leaves the church following high school.
It is extremely rare (in fact, I am struggling to think of more than one or two examples from my church) to find a student who sticks with the church following high school who has absolutely no support at home. On the other side of the coin, as I look at all the students who continue to seek the Lord while being connected to a local church body and each one of them comes from a family with a mother and a father who I know are greatly invested in their child's life and rooted in their own local church.
Again, the ego inside of me wishes that it was my preaching, my ability to teach, the events that I plan, etc, that had more to do with the ultimate decision a student makes, but the reality is that parents and family have a far greater influence on the spiritual formation and shaping of their child than the youth ministry ever will. This does not serve as an excuse to reduce the importance of having an effective and quality youth ministry, however, it is important to recognize that the 'end all solution' to raising a child is not simply making sure they go to the right school or that they are a part of the best youth ministry. Instead, it begins at the home. May we all recognize (especially those who are parents) that God has entrusted us with one of the greatest responsibilities that the world has ever known: raising a child in the faith.
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As a young adult who has had a very hard time staying in the church after high school, I can definitely say my loving, supporting parents, both leaders in the church, probably had nothing to do with me leaving. In fact, they're the only reason I stayed as long as I did. It's a complex, layered issue, but the church is as much a family for some people as the one at home and often times more hidden in its brokenness.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts and your experiences. I would agree that staying or leaving the local church after high school is a multi-layered issue and cannot be reduced to a single factor.
ReplyDeleteWhile you don't find yourself in the local church now, how would you say that your parents helped to shape and inform your faith/lack of faith?
I think that ultimately they were the drowning force in presenting me with some of the basic ideas that I still hold true no matter how much of the peripheral I've had to work through. For instance, they were the first ones to tell me/show me that God is love, to encourage me to ask big questions, to set the example of what it means to be passionate about what you believe and to follow God no matter the personal cost.
ReplyDeleteYou are exactly right on this issue. Even kids that I thought were totally sold out to Jesus in my time working with youth back in the 90's-if they did not have a Christian support system at home, I've been sad to find out that all of them have left the church now. Josh McDowell has always asserted that the falling away of the this generation is largely due to parents-even Christian parents who attend church and claim faith, but do not live it out.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side, though, I do think there has been too much entertainment in youth ministry starting with my generation so that now even pastors of adult congregations are struggling with having to keep the church entertained. The churches that do the most entertaining seem to draw the most people and that makes it hard for many pastors. The worship and the gospel should be the focus of the service but it seems like we are more interested in what video, dance group, special song, praise team or whatever, will be performing during the service. I struggle with this too sometimes. It's just part of this media/entertainment world we live in, but I do like to go to church to unplug from the world and the media most of the time and worship in a more meaningful way & sometimes I feel like church is trying to compete with the world for my time and they don't need to.