video game confession

While there have been times that I have tried to keep it a secret, I have been a closet video game nerd for a good portion of my life.  And while this may sound odd, the thing I enjoy most about gaming is how measurable it is.  There is nothing vague about reaching the final credits and wondering if there was 'work left to be done.'  When I see that long list of scrolling Japanese names, I know I have completed all the tasks in the game.  Perhaps my attraction to this is due to the fact that in pastoral ministry, results are rarely seen in black and white fashion and can be difficult to measure.  Completing a game, as corny as this may sound, gives me some sort of cheap satisfaction.

Another reason that I enjoy gaming is how it can help me unwind.  There is a time and a place to set aside work, day to day responsibilities, and simply enjoy some time to relax.

If I am going to be honest, there are times when I have been convicted about my video gaming on several different levels: the amount of time I play, the money I have spent on games, and most recently, something that happened this morning....

So before I headed out the door, I was looking through our 'Nintendo basket' or 'Nerd basket' as my wife likes to call it.  While checking out the basket, I noticed a controller was missing.  I looked around the room in a few places but could not find it.  As I rode to work this morning, my mind was consumed with thoughts of where it could be... 'did I lend it out? did someone take it? etc.' My mind also immediately jumped to other thoughts like how much it would cost to replace... I found myself consumed with the missing controller as if it actually mattered in the grand scheme of things.

What saddens me about this whole scenario is how much value my heart places on a collection of video game equipment and how easily I became anxious and upset when I thought I may have lost a small piece of it.  I am reminded of the words of Christ in the gospels when he talks about treasures that we store up and how my heart naturally clings to 'stuff.'