a story about corndogs, diet coke, and generosity

This past Wednesday night, just before our youth service was beginning to start, I thought I would run across the street to the QT (Quik Trip) that is conveniently located a stone's throw from our church.  My stomach was reminding me that I had forgotten to pack my dinner for the night and my nutritional/health conscious side of me was yearning for a corndog and a diet coke (minor sarcasm intended) from the most amazing gas station convenient store ever created.  So, off to QT I went.

Now, if you don't know me, I love starting conversations with random people.  I feel like so often we go through life avoiding eye contact with people so we don't have to engage in human interaction.  I even catch myself doing this at times.  However, something I enjoy doing (generally) is finding ways to talk and engage with people.  I have had dozens of interesting edifying conversations with people by doing this.

Back to the story.

So, I am next in line getting ready to purchase my healthy cuisine when the cashier calls me up.  The gentleman next to me had already paid for his gasoline but was still fiddling with his wallet.  As I walked up to the counter I showed the QT employee my two items and delightfully told him that the gentleman next to me was going to pay for them.  This is an example of one of the many awkward ways I talk to people.

That is when something pretty cool happened.

With a complete straight face, the man said, "I would be glad to do that, I got ya."  I was surprised by his words and immediately told him I was joking and proceeded to take out my wallet.  He continued, "If you don't have the money, I would be glad to purchase your food for you."  Again, I assured him I was only joking and apologized for the confusion.  As I paid for my food, I turned to him and said, "Wow, you must have a pretty good heart to be willing to do something like this."  He responded by saying, "I just know there are a lot of people who are hungry in the world and I wanted to help you out if you needed some assistance."

I patted the man on the back and said, "God bless you brother, that is a great attitude," and I walked out of the store.

And that is my corndog/diet coke/generosity story.

Along the way

A good friend and mentor of mine was sharing his heart with me the other day.  I could tell something was weighing on him.  He told me about the unrest that he was experiencing in his life and how he felt God may be calling him towards pastoral ministry.  While I may be a little bias, my friend would make an excellent pastor.  As I questioned him a little more about his thoughts and feelings he told me about some investigation he had already done into serving at a church but his efforts did not seem to be resulting in any concrete progress.  This yearning within him had been there for almost four years and he couldn't help but feel a little discouraged that nothing seemed to have manifested from the steps he had already taken in this process.  He was beginning to question the significance of what he was doing with his life.

What you also need to know about my friend is that he and his wife are amazing people.  They are the kind of people you wish you could 'copy and paste' and give to every single church in the world.  You know the kind of people I am talking about. And while I could very easily go into great detail about all the ways my friend and his wife serve God and serve others through countless ways, I will remain vague to protect his identity.

As my friend continued to share his heart, I resonated with the different things he was feeling and thinking.  He had dreams of where he could be and what he could be doing but felt discouraged because those dreams still seemed quite far away.  As he shared his heart, I couldn't help but think to myself that I've been there.  I've felt and experienced very similar things in my own life. 

And while my friend is much wiser than I am, I felt the need to remind him of a truth that God has been reminding me of lately.  It can be very easy to look down the road at the things we dream about and wish for and think, "If only I was there and doing this, THEN I would really be doing something significant with my life..."  Dreaming, wishing, and hoping are all great things.  However, sometimes we can get lost in our dreaming, wishing, and hoping and forget that God desires to use us here and now as well. Sometimes we can get so caught up in 'what could be' that we don't do a great job of being present here and now.  While God may have specific things in store for us down the road, I believe that God does not sit back and wait for us to reach that destination in order to use us to do his work. God desires to use us in and through the journey, whether or not we ever get there or not.

Here is a prayer that I have been striving to live out and pray in my life:

'God, help me to be 100% available to you in any and all things.  Help me to be present and faithful where I am right now... And if you should ever desire to have me do different work in a different place, help me to have a sensitive heart, open ears, and open eyes so that I may recognize and respond to your prompting.'

Hope

In light of the incidents in Newtown, CT over the last few days I have heard several people ask me and others, "Why? How does something like this happen? If God is good/real, why didn't he intervene? etc."

During times like Newtown, CT, 9/11, the atrocities of war, and even throughout the daily rhythm of life, there is something, I believe, that all people yearn for and dream of, and I believe that thing is 'hope.' Hope that what I see and hear around me isn't the end of the story. Hope that one day all the things that are broken, shattered, and wrong in this world will be made right. Hope that Shadow, the golden retriever, will come limping over the hill and be reunited with his family. Hope that the Cubs /Pirates will actually know what it means to wear a World Series ring. Every person yearns for this kind of hope and redemption. It is in our DNA.

I believe that there is coming a day when God will condemn evil for what it is. I believe the words of Revelation 21 that talk about a day when “there will be a new heaven and a new earth… and God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more mourning, crying, or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” We love and serve a God who hates evil. We believe that one day he will judge between good and evil and finally condemn evil and those who embrace/choose it. As a Christian, I find that hope in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

But, until that day comes, some men and women will continue to do evil acts. These evil acts are an outward sign of an inward reality (the condition of the heart) and it is our responsibility to work on our hearts and ask God to change them… but at the end of the day, some people will still choose evil. Christ calls his followers to embody a servant-like love by how we give, serve, sacrifice, and extend hope to others through our words and actions.

So, let us mourn, let us ask 'why', let us remember, let us take action, let us debate, etc. But above all, let us remember that hope is real and let us work towards embodying that hope in our world through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, have mercy on us

*Warning: Graphic Story*

I just finished reading a story on CNN that caused me to weep out loud.    A 14 year old girl somehow managed to hide the fact that she was pregnant from her parents.  She would later admit that she was scared her pregnancy would have a negative effect on her relationship with her folks.  After giving birth to the baby in her bathroom she immediately strangled the baby's neck for 60 seconds.  She made sure the baby did not have a pulse.  After making sure the baby was dead, she hid the body in her clothes hamper, which her mother later went through and discovered the baby.

My son just turned 4 months old the other day.  I never imagined being able to love a child the way that I love my son.  He is so beautiful and precious to me and I would do anything for him.  I think part of the reason I feel the way I do about Sawyer is because I know that he couldn't make it without his mommy and I.  He needs us to survive.  While his crying can be difficult and stressful to hear sometimes, I know that many times those cries are his way of saying, "I need you mommy and daddy."  Having a baby has warmed my heart in a way I could never have imagined.

When Jesus talked about caring for "the least of these," I think he was talking about a wide range of people: the lonely, the imprisoned, the hungry, the naked, the mocked, the helpless, the widow, the helpless child, the enslaved, the forgotten, the newborn, and so on.  To faithfully follow after Jesus requires that we willingly and continually sacrifice for 'the least.'  To follow in the footsteps of Jesus is to sacrifice and confess, "my life is not my own."  And I believe I shed tears for this newborn baby for a few reasons: First, every little baby deserves to have at least one parent that would march through hell and back on their behalf.  My heart breaks for this helpless creation of God who was subjected to awful suffering for its short little life.  Secondly, as I read this story I am reminded of my own sin.  While I've never made it on CNN for the things I've done, I know that I turn my back to 'the least' in less noticeable and less obvious ways through how I spend my money, how I spend my time, things I do and don't do, etc.  And finally, I weep because I know we serve a God whose loves his creation far more than I do and I know his heart breaks when he sees those whom he loves suffer, especially the helpless... And the only prayer that I find to be appropriate when I hear stories like this and have an awareness of my own sin is, "Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us."


If you call/consider yourself to be a Christian, let me ask you this: In what ways does following Jesus cause you to sacrifice your own comfort and well-being for the sake of others?  Does following Jesus cost you anything?  It should.

May our hearts continue to break on behalf of 'the least' and may we respond faithfully.

Dave Matthews and Love

I’ve been a pretty loyal Dave Matthew’s Band fan for 15+ years.  As I have listened to the band and various interviews that Dave has given over the last few years they/he have become much more vocal and outspoken about what they believe to be the main issues and tragedies that humanity has fallen victim to and faces today.  Some of these issues that Dave mentions in his songs and interviews are greed, war, religion, poverty, the power hungry, and so on.  One thing I appreciate about Dave is that he is not one to simply point out what is wrong but he also talks and sings about what he believes to be the solution and hope for humanity as well.  In many of his songs (most recently ‘Mercy’), Dave talks about how ‘love is the answer’ and how people need to ‘get together and begin loving one another.’  Who could possibly disagree and say that the world needs less love?

            But as I listen to Dave’s words and songs and many others who express similar thoughts, I am again reminded that love can be a very vague word.  Love needs definition.  If I told you I painted an ‘incredible picture’ or baked ‘an amazing meal,’ my words may sound exciting but you still don’t know what the picture looks like or what the meal tastes like.  My picture needs to be seen, studied and observed.  The description ‘incredible picture’ is not enough.  Likewise, my meal needs to be experienced and tasted (preferably my barbeque hamburgers) to understand what I mean by ‘an incredible meal.’ Similarly, love needs true, honest, and complete definition and without that definition we are left with lofty undefined hopes and emotions.

How do we know what love is?  Through the life, teachings, words, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  As 1 John reminds us, “How do we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”  We come to know and understand true sacrificial servant love when we come to know Jesus.  The Church, the Body of Christ, is then called to go forth and embody that love through the way we serve, the way we give, the way we sacrifice, and the way that we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us.  

Christians on the Internet

A few weeks back I had an absolutely crazy idea... While watching a video that addressed a comical yet controversial issue in the Church I thought I could share a few things that I had been questioning and wrestling with while hoping to hear some intelligent/thoughtful responses.  My goal in doing so was by no means to 'stir things up a bit.'  I enjoy listening and hearing other people's views and stances on things.  Silly me for thinking I could honestly share from my heart some of these questions that had been resonating inside me and engage in some helpful/meaningful dialogue.

Over the course of a couple weeks, I would get an email notification every time someone responded to my questions.  Out of the 15 or so responses I got, 12 of them were from fellow believers that used a variety of vocabulary to let me know how pagan my questions and thoughts were.  "No real believer who actually has read the Bible would ever ask such a stupid question..."  A few even informed me about their thoughts on where I would be spending my eternal destiny.  All that to say I deleted my question after about two weeks because I would actually find myself discouraged when someone would write something hateful or condemning.  


While this was one of the few times I actually posted some of my own thoughts on this particular website, I think I should have known better.  There must be a hidden verse or passage in scripture that says something like, "...And when you go on the internet and engage in controversial topics and conversations forget everything I ever said about loving others and extending peace and mercy...  In fact, be a complete tool."


'Defending your faith' does not justify hatred.


Who are you extending the love of Christ to?

Good Theology

Theology: The study of divine things and/or religious truth.

I would like to think I have 'good' theology... I would like to think that when I speak about my faith in God, the scriptures, and how we ought to live that I do it with consistency and faithfulness.  My hope is that when I  preach, teach, and enter into conversation with others regarding the faith that God affirms what I am saying (to some level)  as 'good.'  N.T. Wright has said (paraphrased), 'If I had to guess, I think what I teach/write and have to say about God is generally accurate about 80-85% of the time and the other 15-20% is off in some way or another.  The only problem is, I don't know what that 15-20% is.' What I don't want is to have bad theology and I think you know what I am talking about.  

The other day I was watching TBN and one of the preachers/teachers was telling her listeners that the reason she got breast implants is because God told her she should feel beautiful.  We've heard other televangelists talk about how God wants to double and triple your income so you can get another Mercedes.  Or how about those teachers/preachers that tell people, "If you would pray enough prayers and give enough money to my 'ministry' the cancer will go away."    Some more subtle examples of poor theology and praxis are when we justify our hatred and prejudice in the name of God and the faith.

But here is what I believe to be true.  No matter how long I live, my guess is that there will always be a part of me that 'never fully gets it.'  If I lived to be 150 years old and was asked to teach a study on any book of the Bible, I can guarantee I would say/teach something that would cause God to say, "Eh, nice try Jay but your way off."  I'm sure as long as I live there will be signs and symptoms of false beliefs and understandings that I have picked up along the way... And to a certain extent, I am ok with that.  Why?  Because above all the nooks, crannies, and truths I will strive to articulate, discover, teach and preach throughout my life lies the greatest commandment of all: to dedicate my entire life to loving God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength while striving to love my neighbor as myself.

My mother is 64 years old and has MS.  Walking is becoming more and more difficult for her.  She is a sweet woman who loves the Lord with her whole heart.  Over the last couple years I've heard her articulate some thoughts and beliefs that, my guess, she has picked up from the media that I do not agree with.  But at the end of the day, here is a woman who regularly visits other people who are suffering from Alzheimers, MS, cancer, and other various disabilities and serves communion to them.  She sits with them for hours and loves them with the simple/extravagant love of Christ.  In the end, it is her love for God and others matters most.

God would rather someone who is wrong now and again that commits their life to loving God and others as oppose to the articulate scholar that fails to embody the love of Christ towards others.

The practice matters most.

'But seek first well-being...'

Today (and over the course of a few years) I made an observation that I believe to be thoroughly true.  It seems that most people who would call themselves Christians, whether they realize it or not, are much more interested in pursuing ‘well-being’ for their life than they are of seeing God’s Kingdom become a reality in the world

The prayer has changed.  Instead of praying, “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” we pray for comfort, security, health, and well-being for our life.  We pray for and defend our nation in order to better secure this ‘well-being’ that we covet so much.  In fact, for many people, I believe the Christian faith serves as a means of securing this ‘well-being’ that we desires so much.  That's right, Christianity is simply one building block to the greater goal of well-being for our life.  And the cool thing about building blocks?   You can move them, change them, shift them and even get rid of them for awhile if it will help you achieve the ends you desire.

The difference between these two prayers and ‘ends’: seeking God's kingdom vs. seeking security and well-being,  is how we view suffering.  When ‘well-being’ is our chief end, there is no place for suffering in our lives.  We are unable to comprehend that a good and loving God could ever possibly allow or even want us to suffer. Redemptive suffering is a foreign concept.  In fact, God is the one who is supposed to relieve any and all suffering that we might come across… But when our greatest aim and ‘end’ is seeing God’s Kingdom being brought into fruition, we realize that there are things that are of far greater importance in this world than our security and well-being.  Perhaps God is allowing me to gradually suffer and die from cancer so that I may show my children and my community what it looks like to die well?  Perhaps God desires to strip me of all financial security so I can truly learn what it means and looks like to depend on God for my daily bread?  Perhaps God has better things in mind for me than the 4 bedroom house and 6 digit income?

Final thought: I’m glad that Jesus sought faithful obedience to God’s work and mission in the world over his well-being.  I’m glad that the disciples chose to live faithfully towards God’s work and mission in the world over their health and well-being.  May God strip us of the idol of security and well-being that we run after so that we may be free to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.

Worship

You ever go on to youtube looking for one specific video/song and 20 minutes and 8 'suggested videos' later you find yourself watching 'Charlie bit me: The Remix' again?  Don't deny it.  You know what I am talking about.

So, the other day I went on youtube and I somehow found myself watching a video that mocks many modern evangelical services.  While I don't think the video intends to be malicious towards anyone, I believe the video exposes a truth that causes unrest in within me.  I believe that many of us evangelicals have, somewhere along the line, lost what it means to worship.  And the simple truth I am beginning to realize is this: we can only love God and love others to the extent and to the depth in which we worship God... We can only embody the way of Christ to the extent and the depth in which we offer ourselves to God in worship.   I'll say that again in the negative: We cannot expect to see the rich fruit of Christ in our life if our devotion and worship of God is shallow.  How can I love God and my enemy with sincere conviction if I don't believe from the very depths of my being that our Lord bore the cross from his conception to his final breath?  How can I ever expect to know what it means to sacrifice and pour myself out for the sake of others if I don't worship and commune with my Lord who washed the feet of those who would deny and betray him?  How can I expect to see the power of the Holy Spirit lived out in me when I roll out of bed with little or no intention of spending time with the very one who granted me the gift of 'today?'

And I as a pastor am guilty of sometimes contributing to this problem. We focus on creating a worship service that is 'seamless' and 'professional.'  We want your worship experience to be better than what the other churches have to offer.  We leave discouraged if we butchered a song, made an awkward transition, fumbled on a sermon illustration, and so forth.  We are upset if 'worship didn't go well' because we believe that worship has more to do with us.

But this is what I am realizing more and more...

Shame on us if our worship of God is dependent upon man.  Shame on us if my worship of God is contingent upon the song choices, how well a worship leader has learned to play an instrument, if I don't like a pastor's squeaky voice, and so forth.  Instead, may my worship and devotion to God, on Sunday and everyday, be real in my life because God is worthy of my worship and devotion.  May my worship be authentic and true because worship should not be circumstantial.   Forgive us for how we have allowed our worship of God to become so much about us and not enough about you... Because when our worship becomes less and less about communing, knowing, and being shaped by our Lord and more and more about us, we are forgetting what worship really is.

And this is where I think we can learn from our Orthodox and Roman Catholic brothers and sisters.  (Are they perfect? No... This is not a 'we all need to be like them' rant)  But most of them gather for the intention of offering their worship to the Lord and to 'receive Christ' in the presence of the Eucharist.  While we may differ in our theology and understanding of the Lord' Supper, the theology of 'meeting with' and 'receiving' the presence of Christ in worship is beautiful.  I wish I had that same expectation and excitement in my own worship of God.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Jesus' Anger

The other day I was looking at Jesus clearing the temple in the gospels.  In Matthew, Mark, and Luke we see Jesus clearing the temple towards the end of his earthly ministry while in John's gospel it is one of the first things that he does.  Some people believe John got the chronology wrong while others thing that Jesus could have cleared the temple more than once.

One thing I noticed while studying this passage and other times throughout scripture where we see Jesus get angry is that Jesus' anger always seemed to be motivated by his love for God, his love for others, and his hatred of sin.  Wow.  I wish I could say that about myself.

So, in this short little blog entry I am challenged to ask God and pray that the anger and passion I exert in my life would be about things that have true significance.  Also, that my anger would be motivated out of a greater love for God and for others.

faith alone?

So, I was looking up a couple comedy routines by this guy Brian Regan.  If you have never heard Brian’s stuff, he is incredibly funny, especially when you are able to watch him perform.  As I was wasting a few minutes on youtube, I saw in the ‘recommendations’ section a comedian who had a high number of views and decided to check him out. 

At one point during his routine, he began to share about why he was a Christian and this is what I heard him (and many other people over the years) say about his faith: ‘The thing I like about being a Christian is the only thing you have to do is have faith… That’s it!  All these other religions and belief systems have a bunch of rules and regulations.  Not Christianity.  All I do is believe, I’m saved, and that’s it.  An idiot can do that.”

And while that may sound nice, I find his words and beliefs to be thoroughly unbiblical.  If we take an honest look at the life and teachings of our Lord, how much time did Jesus spend teaching the disciples and other ‘sinners’ how they ought to live?  Never once did Jesus ever tell people that all they had to do is ‘believe.’ If how we spent our time here on earth mattered so little, than why did our Lord spent a vast majority of his time teaching people what the Kingdom of God was like?  Why did Jesus address complex life issues on his Sermon on the Mount?  Some may be quick to quote Paul, such as Romans 10:9 that says, "If you confess with your mouth that 'Jesus is Lord' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  Whenever Paul or Jesus for that matter spoke of faith, it was always a faith that was accompanied by devoted action.  

Let us affirm and attest that Jesus Christ is Lord.  But God forbid we stop there.  Let us hear the words of our Lord and seek to walk in the footsteps of our rabbi in all that we say and do. 

trying to care about politics

I'm 30 years old now and I have tried to 'get into' and really care about politics, but i find it difficult.  Don't get me wrong, I believe that politics has its place and that a country's government has the opportunity to genuinely and legitimately help and provide for it's people.  However, I believe the danger comes when we place too much stock in terms of what we expect out of our government.  We demand that our government do this or not do that and get frustrated when they 'do' or 'don't.'  While talking to a gentleman I have known for quite sometime, I listened to him begin to passionately talk (and begin crying) about the government and the United States.  I had never seen him get this passionate in our 100+ conversations regarding his faith in Christ.  Why is that?  Why is it that some believers expect our government to do and be what Christ has called the Church to do and be?

grinding it out

I remember a seasoned pastor once telling me: 'When you're working and ministering with people, the natural desire will be to see huge changes and noticeable fruit on a daily basis... like hitting a home run everyday in baseball.  However, a healthy minister must be prepared for the grind.  If you look for the home run everyday, you are setting yourself up to be disappointed.  The best ball players are those who consistently hit singles and doubles.'

Forgive my over-usage of the baseball analogy but I see truth to his words.

The truth is that there are times, days, and seasons where being a minister is a struggle for me.  There are many jobs that can be summed up with a formula: I do this work for this many hours and I will get this result.

People cannot and should not be reduced to a formula.  There are students whom I have had hundreds of conversations with and poured many hours into whom have ultimately decided they want little to do with the faith.  Then, there are others whom I may have even spent less time with that continue to find their roots in Christ.

As I write these words, I am reminded that the calling of the minister is to faithfully seek after Christ in their own life while seeking to love, teach, and pour into those around him/her.  There will be those who choose to resist the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives while there will be those who listen and respond.

And during those times when you struggle to see the highlights of your efforts, take a step back, rest a little, pray, and continue to grind it out...  God sees you and God is using you, even if it may not seem like it.

Can you relate to this at all?  Have you ever felt this way?

a shout out to grandma

For the last 6.5 years of my life I have been pastoring in Independence and have met a whole bunch of people during that time.  Sometimes as I'm heading into QuikTrip or somewhere else around town, I will bump into someone whom I haven't seen in months or even years.  The other night I had one of those encounters.  As I was driving down 24 highway at 9pm on a Sunday night in Independence, I saw someone walking down the road who looked a lot like a student that I had met several years back at the church.  I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and saw that it was the guy who I thought it was.  I asked the young man where he was headed and if he needed a ride.  He told me he was heading home and that a ride would be nice.  During our 10 minute drive and interaction, I learned that Bret was living with his grandma because his mom was in jail and his dad kicked him out of the house a few years back.  He told me that his grandma was a cafeteria worker at a Jr. high school and she was helping him get back on his feet.

After dropping Bret off, I pulled back out of his driveway to make my way back home and I started thinking, 'what would this community do without grandmas and grandpas who were there to intervene in their children and grandchildren's lives?'  I know that may sound like a random and/or trivial thought, but in the last 6.5 years I have heard countless stories just like Bret's: parents who have given up on their children, parents who have disappeared, parents who have kicked their children out of the house, parents in jail, parents who are addicts, etc.  In fact, in the last month alone, I have heard 3-4 scenarios similar to this one.

While I was blessed to have parents who were present and invested in my life, I am realizing that my experience is slowly becoming a rarity and a minority in many communities.  If you have or have had parents who were present in your lives, please be thankful for them.

So as I write this, I want to give a shout out to grandparents who have:
-taken your own children back into the house as adults because of hardships they have fallen upon.
-taken in your grandchildren because their parents are either not present in their lives or because parents have given up on their children.
-sacrificed your own fiances, homes, vehicles, and resources to support your grandchildren when their parents have not done so.
-taken on the role of parents in their grandchildren's lives.
-chosen to keep working in order to financially support the children and grandchildren who have entered your home.
-Put up with loud music you would never listen to or watched tv shows you would never watch because you now have a 16 year old living in your house again.
-Stayed up late or set a key outside to make sure your grandchild gets in safely at night.
-And other examples like these...

I think the main reason I was compelled to write this is because I see something very Christlike in the behaviors I listed above.  I am one who believes that Christ never gives up on any of his children and has a heart especially for those who have been dealt a less than favorable hand.  Great job grandma and grandpa for welcoming, loving, and caring as Christ has called you to do.

observations from an 11th grader

I had the opportunity to sit down with one of my high school students just the other day (over some Pizza Hut!).  It was not hard to see that something was on his mind.  He had just gotten back from a seven day Caribbean cruise to Jamaica, Cozumel, and Cosa' Maya.  Without much prodding, he began to throw out some questions that had swimming around in his mind.  As we grow and progress as followers of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are called to look at the world around us- our communities, our patterns, the way we live, etc, and hold them up alongside the words, teachings, and life of Christ.  I was ministered to by my younger brother in Chris the other day.

On his trip to Jamaica


"Jay, when we got to Jamaica, I was immediately shocked at the standard of living compared to that of Americans... I learned that lots of people in Jamaica will share homes with one another.  It is very common for grandparents and their children to live under the same roof and for people in a neighborhood to share everything.  Many people who were on the cruise were saying how they felt bad for the people but I noticed something special about them: everyone seemed like they were family with everyone else.  It is not that way back in America.  We all have our own separate houses, our own separate lawn mowers, our own separate cars... It is like be build our homes to keep other people out of them... There seemed to be something that was special about the way they lived."


On his family


"I'm beginning to wonder if I really believe in love.  My mom and dad were married for 30 years and got divorced.  What if the emotions I have for my wife begin to fall away after 20+ years or so?... Or, what if her love for me begins to do this same thing?  How can a marriage survive if it is only based on the emotions we feel and don't feel?"

The unexamined life


"I get frustrated with other people my age.  They don't question or seem to care about anything.  Everyone my age seems to just go through life believing and excepting everything that they are taught.  Doesn't anyone care about the deeper issues and meaning of life?  Are we here just to make money?  To someday have a big house? Isn't there more?  If there is more, why does it seem like everyone is o.k. with not pursuing more?"

-----

Isn't it funny how God  can teach us through people and in ways we least expect it?  Thank you brother for sharing your heart and your desire to strive after Christ in your life.

my conversion story

About six years ago, before Rachel and I were married, I thought I would be a good fiance' and surprise Rachel by bringing her a coffee at her work.  After purchasing the drink (it type of drink changed over the years), I would always have a small sip during the short drive from the coffee shop to Rachel's work.  Each time I would have a sip, I would think to myself, "how in the world to people actually enjoy this overpriced nastiness?"  Yet, each time I ordered a drink for her I would STILL have a sip thinking that just maybe this is the time I would find the drink remotely good.

Fast forward about 75 to 100 coffee drop-offs and about six years and something happened.  I had just bought Rachel an Iced-Mocha from the Filling Station and was on my way to drop it off.  During the 3-4 minute drive to Rachel's work I found myself drinking about 80% of the drink and leaving nothing more than a few sips left for my wife.  Rachel was not impressed.  On my next visit to the Filling Station uttered words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.

(Barista dude) So, another iced mocha, no fat no whip for the wife?
(Me) Yes........ But...... Could you actually make two of those?

I am not sure if I could really be considered an all out coffee drinker.  I order one of those things a week at most... and, at this point, an iced mocha is the only coffee drink I like.

the greatest obstacle to following Jesus

I recently had the opportunity to attend a great conference called 'Sentralized' in Olathe, KS a few weeks back that focused what it looks like for the Church to be a missional people. There were several speakers at the conference that I learned a great deal from.  One of the keynote speakers, Michael Frost, challenged people to 'listen to the heartbeat of your city' in order to find out how to be the hands and feet of Christ to them.  He went on to say that we must really know the inhabitants of our community in order to effectively minister to them and we must listen to their cries.

Here is my issue.  I understand what Michael Frost was getting at.  We must have listening ears and hearts in order to properly and effectively do the work of the Kingdom in our communities.  You don't start an 'Obesity Recovery Club' in a village that is starving nor do you offer English speaking classes for Japanese people in a town that is 70% Caucasian and 30% Spanish.  Listening with a prayerful heart is essential.

But what if the greatest desires, wants, and 'needs' of my community is a flat-screen to replace their 'old tv' from 2005?  What if what people desire most is a better car than the one they already have now?  A job that pays better so they can afford to go out to eat more and to support an excessive lifestyle?  Someone to repave their driveway so it looks as good as they neighbors new driveway across the street?

I hope my point is coming across.  What does ministry look like to a community and a people whose greatest desire to get more and have more than what they already have?  What does ministry look like to those who have been fully baptized into a lifestyle of consumption, comfort, and getting everything we want?


Before I go on, I thank God that I was not struck dead as I typed those last words.  I see the signs of consumerism in my own heart on a daily basis and I must bring that before the Lord in repentance regularly.

Alan Hirsch makes a great point in his book 'The Forgotten Ways' by saying the greatest obstacle in the Western Church when it comes to following Jesus is not Islam, Eastern Religions, New Age Spirituality, or whatnot.  Instead, the greatest obstacle is consumerism: the belief and desire that life is all about doing me and getting mine.  Consumerism preaches instant gratification and immediate results whereas the way of Jesus is found in pouring one's life out in servant love to one's brother and sister.  It is in the daily surrendering of one's own selfishness and asking God to renew our hearts to look more like that of our Lords.  It is the complete opposite of the consumer mindset.  The text that continually comes to mind is the descent of our Lord spoken of in Philippians 2.  We serve one who being in the very nature God made himself nothing (2:5-11).

So, what does ministry look like to those who have become entrapped in the ideology of consumerism?  

'when I became a christian'

I heard this a while back and just hunted it down.  Written by Adrian Plass

When I became a Christian I said, Lord, now fill me in,
Tell me what I’ll suffer in this world of shame and sin.
He said, your body may be killed, and left to rot and stink,
Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - I think.
I think Amen, Amen I think, I think I say Amen,
I’m not completely sure, can you just run through that again?
You say my body may be killed and left to rot and stink,
Well, yes, that sounds terrific, Lord, I say Amen - I think.

But, Lord, there must be other ways to follow you, I said,
I really would prefer to end up dying in my bed.
Well, yes, he said, you could put up with the sneers and scorn and spit,
Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - a bit.
A bit Amen, Amen a bit, a bit I say Amen,
I’m not entirely sure, can we just run through that again?

You say I could put up with sneers and also scorn and spit,
Well, yes, I’ve made my mind up, and I say, Amen - a bit.

Well I sat back and thought a while, then tried a different ploy,
Now, Lord, I said, the Good book says that Christians live in joy.
That’s true he said, you need the joy to bear the pain and sorrow,
So do you want to follow me, I said, Amen - tomorrow.
Tomorrow, Lord, I’ll say it then, that’s when I’ll say Amen,
I need to get it clear, can I just run through that again?
You say that I will need the joy, to bear the pain and sorrow,
Well, yes, I think I’ve got it straight, I’ll say Amen - tomorrow.

He said, Look, I’m not asking you to spend an hour with me
A quick salvation sandwich and a cup of sanctity,
The cost is you, not half of you, but every single bit,
Now tell me, will you follow me? I said Amen - I quit.
I’m very sorry Lord I said, I’d like to follow you,
But I don’t think religion is a manly thing to do.
He said forget religion then, and think about my Son,
And tell me if you’re man enough to do what he has done.

Are you man enough to see the need, and man enough to go,
Man enough to care for those whom no one wants to know,
Man enough to say the thing that people hate to hear,
To battle through Gethsemane in loneliness and fear.
And listen! Are you man enough to stand it at the end,
The moment of betrayal by the kisses of a friend,
Are you man enough to hold your tongue, and man enough to cry?
When nails break your body-are you man enough to die?
Man enough to take the pain, and wear it like a crown,
Man enough to love the world and turn it upside down,
Are you man enough to follow me, I ask you once again?
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said Amen.
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen; Amen, Amen, Amen,
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said, Amen.

the 'Jesus-Juke'

So what exactly is a 'Jesus-juke?'  Jon Acuff invented the phrase and has written about it here.  The word 'juke' is often referred to in football or another sport where a player is running/skating/moving in one direction and then all of the sudden they completely change directions and head somewhere else.  If you are a running back or receiver in football, being able to 'juke' people is very important.

The Jesus-juke is the ability to incorporate Jesus and Christianity into any topic and it generally communicates shame.  Also, the Jesus-juke is very good at producing awkward moments along with strange endings to previously good conversations.  Still not sure what the Jesus-juke is?  Allow me to give you a few examples... Some of them are made up, some of them are based on real life examples.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 1

(Mike) I can't wait for Saturday!  We are going to get to the stadium like six hours before the game.  I'm bringing my grill to cook up some burgers, we can play washers, and then as soon as the gates open, we can head on in. It is gonna be awesome!

(Todd) Yeah... But I was just thinking... What if we spent those six hours that we were going to tailgate and watch the game by going down to the homeless shelter and serving food?  When is the last time we got this excited about spending six hours in prayer? 

-Poor Mike, he never saw it coming.  He just got completely juked out of his mind by Todd.  My guess is that Mike's neck hurt for a few weeks after this juke.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 2

(Kate) I know, I haven't talked to you in awhile.  So, been' reading any good books lately?

(Lindsey)  Heck yes I have!  I am reading the 'Hunger Games' series which I am LOVING!  I have already ordered that new Sparks book, I forget the name... and my boyfriend was telling me to check out that baseball book that was made into a movie.  You know, the Brad Pitt one?  How about you, anything good you have been checking out?

(Kate) Yeah, I've been reading the Bible.

(Lindsey) Oh yeah? Nice.  Anything else?

(Kate) Nope, I just read the Bible.

-While this juke is a little more subtle than the first scenario, you can be sure that Lindsey just got completely juked.

Jesus-Juke Scenario 3

(Micah) I'm just really excited about what we have been able to do with our small group at church.  We have started tutoring some kids in the area to help them with their school work.  We have also organized this small flag football thing on Tuesdays to help encourage exercise and teach the kids about getting away from the television.  We are hoping by next month to get some computers so we can finally start using this literacy software we had donated to us.  We are really optimistic that these students can start performing better at school.

(Caleb) Sounds fun, are you doing any Christian things with the students?

(Micah) What do you mean?

(Caleb) You know, like more Jesus centered things.  Are you doing stuff that Jesus would do with them like study the Bible and start worship services with the kids?

(Micah) No, we haven't done anything like that yet.  We are simply trying to love and invest into the lives of these students... I think Jesus would like what we are doing.

(Caleb) *forced smile that communicates his disappointment that Micah is not doing REAL ministry*

-Just when Micah thought he could share his joy with Caleb, Caleb is quick to let him know that teaching the students to read, encouraging physical activity, and tutoring are smaller secondary activities compared to the true work of Jesus... Complete Jukage.  

So, got any good examples of the Jesus juke?

40 things before 40

I read of another blogger who created a '40 things before 40' list and thought it was a great idea!  With that said, here is mine.

1.      Become a father.

2.      Adopt a child(ren).

3.      Become an amazing model of a father, husband, and follower of Jesus for my child(ren).

4.      Maintain a healthy weight (175-185 lbs).

5.      Continue to make my wife feel loved and adored.

6.      Continue my success in not biting my fingernails.

7.      Become better at disc golf by having shot at least even or below at most courses.

8.      Pay off my student loans.

9.      Feel a sense of satisfaction that I am serving God faithfully in my vocation... Regardless of what that looks like.

10.  Become a better cook.

11.  To do something incredibly special for Rachel that she won’t be expecting (I’m not sure what this is, but to figure it out and do it).

12.  Continue to play on some sort of competitive softball team.

13.  Start an ‘after school disc golf club’ for students.

14.  Find new ways to minister to the less educated and lower class of my community.

15.  Go on another 7 day cruise to the Caribbean or somewhere else with my wife/family.

16.  Be incredibly involved in my children’s development by reading to and with them, helping with homework, etc.

17.  Become better at using my time in purposeful ways, waste less of it.

18.  Visit the Royals spring training facility in Surprise, AZ during in mid-February/March to watch them train. (I've already been to the Red Sox several times)

19.  Find ways to live on less money and ‘stuff.’

20.  Continue to write napkin notes to Rachel everyday that I pack her lunch.

21.  Be very intentional about planning date nights with Rachel.

22.  Take a hot-air balloon ride (this doesn’t have to be before 40, but at some point in my life).

23.  To become an ‘all round’ amazing father.

24.  Find a way to live closer to my family.

25.  Complete an MS Bike Ride of 60+ miles or more.

26.  Find a way to help serve and minister to those who go without daily necessities like food, water, medicine, etc.

27.  See U2 and/or Coldplay in concert.

28.  To find unique and fun ways to celebrate milestones in my family's lives (and to make sure we have photos/videos of those milestones).

29.  To help be a father figure to a few people around me who don’t have a father.

30.  To become angrier about things worth being angry over and less angry about the things that has more to do with my pride and ego.

31.  To visit three more major league baseball parks that I have not been to.

32.  To get a major league baseball for my child (from a game, of course).

33.  To teach my child how to disc golf and to go disc golfing regularly.

34.  Learn to do more ‘manly things’ like install dry wall, plumbing, simple construction and auto repair, etc.

35.  Be a chaperone for one of my child’s field trips at school.

36.  Own a Golden Retriever (and possibly name the dog 'Clancy')

37.  To not judge people as much as I do now.

38.  To help Rachel create her own ’40 things before 40’ list.

39.  Visit a continent other than North America.

40.  Throw out the first pitch to a major league baseball game.

I am sure that this list will change and evolve during the next 10 years, but it is a good start!  How about you?  What are some goals you have?